Wednesday

Also known as the middle of the week hump. And yes I do feel it. Most days seem like that for me anymore. Every time I think I get a grip on my anxiety disorder, Something happens and sends it in downward spiral again. Sometimes I think If I can find out what triggers it I can avoid it. It seems to work at first but all I really end up doing is being miserable and putting off whats gonna happen anyway. Medicine helps most the time but I dont want to become reliant on it either. So try to only take it when I have to. Sometimes I dont have a choice, otherwise I wouldnt make it to work. I couldnt say I wouldnt make it but it would make it a lot harder. At least it takes the edge off for a little while. I guess thats all I could really ask for. Thankfully today was my day off and I was able to relax. Didnt need my medicine all day until a little while ago. Stress of work is a big trigger I can't avoid. Hopefully the time will come where I will be able to find a job that meets all my needs.

Time Gets Away

Ive notice when new things happen in your life. Time has a tendancy to get away from you. I have lots of new things to share and lots going on in my life right now. Some good, some bad. Im only hoping that in the end the good will outweigh the bad. Here's hoping anyway. I will have to be better at posting my thoughts than I have been. Otherwise I just keep everything all bottled up.
In the meantime Ive made a new page and hopefully will have some new writings to share soon.

http://about.me/edit/darkpoetfawn

To Write Love on Her Arms

I am posting this because this cause is very important to me. For two reasons. One personal and the other that when my book is finally finished. Im going to donate proceeds to this cause. Because its one of the very few places that recognizes one of the things I am writing about. I am hoping to have the first draft finished by summer. Only time will tell and I will be able to write more about it when I get that far. In the meantime, You really should check out this cause!

Fatigue and Frustrations

I feel really exhausted lately, which is frustrating. I barely make it through work and all I can think about its getting a few hours of writing in before I pass out to sleep. Sometimes I wonder if its just because I am pushing myself too hard or not hard enough. I have been long overdue for my inspiration to come back. And now that it has, Im barely able to hold on to it some days. Maybe its the Winter Blues I don't know. Im anxious for the warmer weather to come and the endless hours I will be able to spend outdoors. The only time I spend outside now its to go back and forth from home to work. Its too cold to do much else.

A Year of Looking Back

I am not one for resolutions, I never was. It has been a difficult year. In many moments it felt near impossible to make it through the day. I have been blessed with many things that have made those moments more tolerable. In days I have ached for it, I have had someone to pour my heart out too and a shoulder to cry on.

I am one for promises. Promises are meant to be kept. Resolutions are made and are never succeeded. Long gone are the days or forgetting about myself and always putting myself last to please others. I am far from a new person, or having a new outlook on things. I'm merely doing what I should have a long time ago and putting myself first. It hasn't been easy and my family hasn't taken well to the less passive me.

The sacrifices I have had to make give me a reason to look back and be glad I did that. Writing has been and still is a struggle. It is safe to say the writer's block is slowly disappearing. Now that my mind isn't clouded so much by everything thats always brought me down. I am finding comfort and more trust in my abilities.

So I end this with saying this,

My promise to myself this year is to be selfish for once. Writing, I am back.