And so it goes

So here I am, about to write my second entry and I really have no idea where to start. My mind is a jumble of thoughts, in which make no sense to be lately. Im not really sure if it is stress I am dealing with or a combination of things. But, in the last few days I have had panic attacks that have completely drained me to the point I don't know how I managed to function the next day with as little rest as Ive got. I know not being able to write has had a bigger effect on me than I ever could have imagined. I've been acustomed to dealing with writer's block because it goes along with the territory. A few days, a week and on occasion Ive gone a little longer than that. And at some point I always get back into it and find inspiration.
I don't know how or why things have changed. But they have. I haven't written more than a few words in over a year. I don't know why its had such a profound effect on me but it has. I'm not sure someone would really understand that or not. It is what it is. And I know because of that its thrown everything off balance. Including my anxiety and my depression. Both I usually can maintain some kind of control of. I am very blessed with the fact I am able to do that without medication. Others arent so fortunate/
Maybe I need to do a little exploring and find new reasons to write, I want to so bad I can taste it. I just need to do something to fuel the fire. Which is hard if I can't even get a spark. I am hoping that with time something will come along and give me the start I need. Writing is something that can't be forced and you have to be patient. In the meantime I am willing to give it a little push of encouragement...