A bid goodnight

Time has come for me to sit down and put my final thoughts down for the night. I should have gone to sleep hours ago, seeing I plan on getting up in the next 6 hours. I can't part with so many things cluttering my mind as I have many nights before. I am not even sure this will help me much, but I am willing to give it a go.
It feels like everything is jumbled up inside this big knot and I can't make sense of where the end is to untangle it all. I have all these thoughts and ideas, that are nothing more than that. Because I am stuck. I know the emotions are there, I just can't seem to express them. I feel out of place and out of touch with myself. I don't feel like I really know who I am anymore. I have been using work as a crutch because thats all I really know how to do right now. I need to find more physical outlets for myself too. I spend a lot of time outside with the dogs which seems to help me clear my head some. But it is not quite enough. I need to do things that really tire me out, because that seems to be when I feel the best.
I think I'm going to focus more on my artwork too. I dabble with it here and there. But I think if I put some time into it and keep my mind moving creatively not matter the direction. It will do me a lot of good. I need to do something. I am stuck here helplessly. In the end I am the only one that can get myself unstuck.
I'm restless, always restless. I can sit in one place for too long. I can't seem to stay focused on anything either. Everything seems to be in this organized chaos if that makes any sense at all. It doesn't matter if it does. It does to me. I need to stop aiming to please everyone else and start doing things just for me. That gets away from me everytime I try to do things for myself because then I am being selfish. Well then its time for me to be selfish. Its been a year since I wrote anything. By anything, I mean anything worthwhile. I have a few thoughts and things here and there. That can't really be made into much because all they are , are small phrases and things that pop into my head that I write down. Sometimes that turn into something and sometimes they just sit on half empty pages waiting to be used, but never will be. So there they sit just as lost as I am...