Sometimes we need change

Sometimes we avoid it but we know its going to happen sooner or later. And sooner or later, things change. I'm not good with change, I never was. Maybe its the anxiety disorder that makes it so difficult. Actually, Im sure thats a good part of it. I have a routine and when that gets interrupted or something new gets added to it. It takes me awhile to adjust. Weird coming from someone that eventually wants to travel a lot. What I want to do and I am able to do are two different things. My anxiety has crippled me in a lot of things I wanted to do in life. Sometimes those things aren't meant to be, but how do I know if I was unable to try to do them in the first place?
With change, you have to take the good with the bad. We've had a lot of bad hit our family in the last month and slowly things are getting back to normal. Most of it almost in the past and we are moving on. Things do get better, you just have to have faith that they will. I find myself relying on faith a lot these days. And its gotten me through, one day at a time. I wake up each day, thankful I have made it through another day. I am still dealing with small bouts of personal struggle here an there. I guess some people calling demons. I don't know what to call them. I get really unsure of myself sometimes.
I'm starting to write again, Its not poetry. But it will do. I decided to finally start writing the book on Self Injury. I feel there has been enough time for me to be strong enough to write on such a serious subject. And my hope is that it will be able to give some hope to others who are dealing with it. Its going to be a long time before its finished, I don't know if it will ever get there. But Im willing to try. Its harder for me than I thought it would be. I can only write for a little while before I start to feel uncomfortable because of the memories I have flashing back at me. If I am able to finish this, It will be worth it just to have one person find help and see that they aren't alone. My plan is to find a charity that helps in such a cause and donate a part of the proceeds from the book to it. It is a big chance and a big chance from what I am use to writing, but I feel its important to use my talent for something good. Because I know what its like to be there and how scary it can be.
Sleep is fighting me hard to take over right now, But I just don't want to go to bed yet. Even though I know I should. I work a nine hour day tomorrow and Im gonna need the sleep. Its not open to close but it may as well day since I will be spending my entire day there. Fun. 12-9 is not my favorite shift to work. Maybe I will just take my book with me and work on some more writing on my breaks, make time where I can to work on it. Sometimes writing somewhere other than at home helps it flow a little better. So we shall see. Guess I better go to bed before I fall asleep at the computer. More soon.