Long at last

Halloween is fast approaching and I still have a lot to do for everything I have planned for November. I haven't been doing as much writing lately as Id like to. Not only Im still fighting the evil writer's block. I have also been working on ideas to promote my poetry books to give them more appeal. It would be nice to get a few more sales out of it too, I won't lie. Especially with Christmas coming around. Ive been toying with the idea on doing the option for an ebook. I may hold off on that until I finish the Anthology. Which Im hoping to have finished early next year. Sooner would be great, but Im not going to push it.
I am having a really hard time with writing the book on Self Injury. Its been years since thats something I have had to deal with. And I thought with all that time that has passed. Ive given myself enough time to prepare for writing it. But no matter how long its been its scratching at old wounds and reminding me constantly of the scars I carry because of it. Im determined to not stop writing it, because it is also very theraputic for me. Its giving me a chance to open up about this in a whole new outlet, in a whole new light. I have written a few poems here and there on it emotionally. This is way different than a poem. Im bringing out my journal and sharing raw and unpolished moments that I have endured during my recovering from it. I am still unsure of how I am going to present it and who it will be shared with. Its such a touchy and sensitive subject. But its one very important to me to possible help others that have had to suffer as I have.
Im no longer afraid of losing control. It has been a long time since Ive picked up anything to cause injury to myself. I am very proud of that. I still carry a bit of shame for what Ive done, but that can't be something Im going to dwell on. Its made me the person I am and its taught me how to find the strength in myself that I didn't know I had. I sometimes don't always use it. But at least I know it is there.
I am very troubled by it. Its not something about me I have told many people. So this book is going to be a big jump. Im really exposing myself in a way thats very open and vulnerable. I know what I would be setting myself up for. In the end would it be worth it? If it got one cutter to seek help, Yes it would. Until I finish the book I guess I will have to wait and see what happens once I get there. There will be a select few that I will get copies of the book to, before I do make it available to people.
On a lighter note, November stands for many upcoming things with my poetry books and once I have a better idea of what I am going to do. A more definite plan, I will be sharing that. My personal website has a new look, Its in a bit of unfinished and unorganized at the moment. But its slowly getting there. Ive been working on it here and there in between my crazy work schedule. I can't say I will spend more time on it when things slow down, because that wont be happening until after Christmas. So I will keep going at it while I can.
Emotionally, Ive been doing okay. I have good days and bad ones. Most the time I stay distracted with work. I am just trying to stay focused. I will get more into that another day. Im slowly getting more and more tired just thinking about it. I havent been sleeping well last few nights and it is catching up with me. Rest will be welcoming...