Its been a really long time since Ive written anything here. Lots has happened in the past four and a half months. Lots of personal struggles we had overcome. My boyfriend had a cancerous brain tumor diagnosed at the end of May. By the end of April they did surgery to remove it. It was a grade 3, Thankfully they were able to remove 98 percent of it. After healing time of about 4 to six weeks, It was on to a combo treatment of six weeks of radiation and chemo pill. Surprised and thankful with how well he tolerated it. We were on edge most of the time, We never knew what to expect.
Here it is the beginning of September, Feeling like we would never get here. And its gone by smoother than we could have ever expected. Its only been 16 weeks since the surgery but it feels like its been so much longer than that.
Ive been longing to let this all out for a long time, Was hoping to be able to turn it into some writing, But for now it needs to just be a time to clear my head and maybe the writing will come later. My thoughts are so cluttered anymore. We have battled many things in our short time together. Its making us want to question, When is enough going to be enough? Unknown is the path God has us on. All we can do is trust it and move forward and stick together. If anything that has been the strength thats helped us endure this terrible stuggle. Into a new light and hopeful future. I continue to hope that things will work out for the best for us. If anything we have earned the rest after enduring one hurdle after another. This journey isnt over for us yet, We still are doing the best to educate ourselves and do what we can to be better.
Ive spent so much time worrying about others that Ive forgotten to take care of myself. My needs are put aside and I never get back to them. First with him and my Mom's health issues are rearing their ugly head. I know I can only do so much, but she also has to try and help herself. There is so much more to it. No sense in getting into it right now Id be here for ever. The only purpose of this blog to me is to clear my head. If someone wants to read it they are more than welcome. It may never be seen. And that is okay too.
I need to write, I crave it. I thrive off of it. And when I cant I feel like something is missing. I cant function properly. And nothing seems to go right. Im every bit off. Missing a piece to that balance that writing gives me. So what happened? I wish I had an answer to that one. Writing a blog or a journal isnt the same. It doesnt feel the same. But it helps . Its hard to explain. But its the outlet every person needs. everyone has their own thing that completes them and writing does that for me.
Sure my other things help and they give me some satisfaction. Like art and photography. But writing is my first love and always take the place of what makes me feel whole.
To be continued....
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