Sleepless

I've had one too many sleepless nights to let it go. I'm dwelling on what I could be or could have been doing to make it better. I'm still not writing.
It seems like such a small and simple thing. That somehow managed to manifest itself into such a big distraction. I'm in a strange frame of mind. I have done everything I know to get a grip on what has me all bewildered. I don't even know if there is a real way to explain what's going on with me. I have tried to pull away from it. And I'm still drawn back to the same place.
I sometimes don't feel like the same person anymore. Like a piece of me is missing. I feel different somehow. I'm lost in a whirlpool of emotion. One day I am angry, and the next I am fighting off tears.
I didn't realize that writing had such a profound effect on me. I knew that it did, I just wasn't aware of how much until its been this long. Too Long...
I'm overwhelmed by how much I am unable to concentrate. Almost to the point its hard for me to focus on just basic tasks. Because my mind is in another place. I feel the ideas and all the thoughts scratching at the surface. But for some reason I just can't grasp them.
The senses are strange. You never know how they are going to react to such things. I can spend hours allowing my mind to wander. Trying to experience, to feel anything. Sometimes it comes, sometimes it doesn't. But the words never follow. And I am still sleepless.