Two AM

I really should be trying to sleep right now. I am tired. But I know laying down would be kinda pointless. I haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm restless, I just can't seem to get my mind to wind down long enough.
I guess I am feeling overwhelmed. Perhaps by all the things I want to do, but cannot. When it comes to that Iwish I were just procrastinating. Sadly its nothing like that. I am not sure what direction I want to go at this point. I feel a big desire to move. I greatly need my own space. The space I do have now just keeps feeling smaller and smaller. I need something that will give me more freedom to be me. So I have been trying to do that.
I wish I had something to write about, anything. Just something. Sometimes I wonder if I am even trying hard enough. But trying to hard means I am just trying to force it. Which in the end will get me nowhere fast.
I keep trying to tell myself tomorrow is another day, maybe it will happen tomorrow. Then it doesn't. Just an endless cycle. I think I pretty much have run dry and ended up in a run that I just can't seem to get out of. I dont know what to do. It hasn't changed or gotten any better in the longest time. I'm wondering if it ever will get better. If I will ever write anything worthwhile again. Okay that sounded drastic. But I feel like I lost an important tool and I just cant function with out it. Its complicated, At least it feels that way. Cause no one here seems to get it...